Picture it: you’re given a basket of lemons, and you decide you don’t want the lemons, so you do your best to force those lemons to become brownies.

You work as hard as you can, hoping to turn those lemons into brownies. Others give you encouragement by telling you those aren’t lemons; they are brownies.

Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?

You can’t turn lemons into brownies, but you can turn lemons into lemonade.

I am officially in my Lemonade era. I chose lemons, and now I am sipping on my lemonade.

Accept the Lemons

No matter how much positive thinking we do, lemons aren’t going to become brownies. Sometimes it’s best to accept that we are working with lemons, and go from there.

I am learning to let go of expectations. Life is what it is. I started this year very hopeful that my life circumstances would completely change. While there have been many tremendous changes, the ones I am really counting on have not happened yet.

Letting go of expectations does not mean letting go of hope. It means focusing less on outcomes and more on processes.  I tell myself now to “Just get through this season, keep looking forward, and Make Lemonade.

Making Lemonade: Seasons change

Life is about seasons, and even the worst seasons don’t last forever.  I love Julia-Louis Dreyfus’s podcast, “Wiser than Me,” and she was interviewing rock icon Patti Smith, who had these wonderful words about grief: “When you’re grieving, you go through a period that is mythically terrible, and then you re-enter life.”

She is correct. The time after losing a loved one is so fragile, so consuming, so foreign that it is mythically terrible. This mythically terrible period also amplifies other unpleasant parts of your life, which, too, become mythically terrible.

If you didn’t like your job before, in this mythically terrible period of life it becomes unbearable.

If you were in a bad relationship, then in this mythically terrible period of life it’s time to pack up and leave.

One of the wisest pieces of advice I received was, “Do not make any huge decisions within the first 1-2 years of grief. You will want to change everything in your life to escape from your new reality.”

I can say that advice has served me very well. I am most thankful that there have been no distractions or temptations in my life to blow me off course. I don’t want to settle out of a lack of options or out of boredom.

Seasons change, and there comes a point in the grieving process where we make lemonade by slowly re-entering life.

Making Lemonade: Move away from what I want to let go of, and move toward what I want more of

The temptation with the lemons of life is to do nothing with them until they become old and moldy, and we’re stuck.

My approach to making lemonade is to move away from activities, people, and habits that I want to let go of, and move toward what I want more of.

I want to move AWAY from training. At the beginning of 2026, I cut my training goals. I know I don’t want to pursue this as a career anymore. Perhaps I can do it as a hobby or an extra revenue stream, but I know I don’t want to invest significant energy and heart in training as a career.

I’m moving TOWARD being challenged to think critically, analyze, meet deadlines with significant workloads, use brainpower, and collaborate with others on a team.

There is a gentleman online who observed that in the past few years, many people have associated with others for convenience, proximity, or simply because we all liked the same drink or TV show. We weren’t actively choosing people we enjoyed being around or with whom we had an actual connection.

One of my observations over the last few months of reconnecting with people is how much I really like them. I don’t feel like I have to spend time with them or talk to them just because they are the only options available. I feel like these are people I connect with. I am moving toward those types of connections and away from those that feel like forced friendships because of convenience and proximity.

I am moving AWAY from my small, stifling, and limited world.

I am moving TOWARD a global, free, and diverse world.

Making Lemonade: Fill up the Calendar with fun activities.

I am not in the place I’d like to be right now, but I’ve committed to putting activities I enjoy on the calendar.

It’s been about ten years since I had an active and enjoyable social life, so I am making the lemonade by getting back out there.

I am going to see Samara Joy in concert. There’s also the Lionel Richie and Earth, Wind, and Fire concert, which is looking really iffy right now because Lionel Richie has been hospitalized.

I am on the lookout for more events to attend to up my joy and lemonade factor.

I thought that I had to wait to experience joy until my life was where I wanted it to be, and I thought: “Well, what am I supposed to do in the meantime?”

Make Lemonade!