This week I turn 45, and the first four years of my forties have sucked for the most part, but there are signs that this baby is beginning to turn around.

Counting my wins

I tend to catastrophize, and life seems to be moving in a better direction. The first seven months of 2026 were better than the last ten combined. Just some of the great things that have happened this year and in 2025.

 My garden is not dead yet

I was convinced that due to perimenopause, I no longer found men attractive, but the Nigerian guest on a fitness podcast proved that was a lie. It’s just that I don’t see attractive men very often.  It’s an environmental problem, and not a hormonal problem.

Reconnections and Reunions

Reconnected with some of my favorite people ever, and more are coming out of the woodwork.

New work environment with a much better atmosphere

Changed Work environment and back with my pre-COVID studio owner. The equipment, atmosphere, and people are such an upgrade.

Reading with my Black Lady Book Club

I’m in a book club for Black women, and I’ve really enjoyed reading all kinds of different books.

My Brain is working again: Lots of writing classes

I have been in writing classes all year. Some were to upgrade professional skills, but I just took my first creative writing class in years, and I love it! We’ve read two novels, I’ve written a paper every week, and I’ve completed two short stories. My brain hasn’t lost a step.

Back into attending sporting events and concerts

Went to the Valkyries Game for my birthday!

I’ve gotten back out to sporting events. I saw the Warriors and the Valkyries on my birthday, and saw them clinch a playoff spot!

Golden State Valkyries clinch a playoff spot!

I’ve also gotten back into live music events and (hopefully) am going to see EWF and Lionel Richie at their rescheduled tour date. I will also go to see Samara Joy in September

Subscribed to Pump Club Newsletter and gotten reinvigorated with my fitness

I subscribed to Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Pump Club Newsletter, and it’s really helped me rediscover my zest for the gym, along with my YouTube inspo from several fitness personalities.

Rediscovering music and watching content that I’ve missed

In some ways, I feel like I was in a time loop because I have rediscovered music I hadn’t heard in years and am watching all the TV shows and movies I’ve missed. It has been so strange, but I was in a weird bubble for 4.5 years.

The Two Keys to Success: Prep Season (The Workout)  and Writing

The momentum is building in my life, and I am riding it. As of this moment, we have two clues to what the next steps will involve: the workout and the writing. This craft of reading class has unlocked something in me. I’m putting my writing out there to be read and critiqued. We had to read two books and analyze them like writers. I finished two short stories in ten weeks, and I am going to keep going and keep creating.

I am going to be hard to stop. There is something building and growing within me, but I don’t know what the next steps are. My job isn’t to figure that part out. My job is to get into alignment, so I am ready when the opportunity. It’s to keep layering brick by brick. The opportunities are coming. I have to be ready to receive them.

The threads are being woven, and they will be revealed shortly.  I will keep laying bricks and keep saying yes.

What is Home?

This Fall, I am going to begin exploring and answering the question: What is home for me now? What will it look like?

San Francisco was only home by default because my family is here. My mother was the anchor tying me to this place, and perhaps familiarity because it’s where I grew up. I am not emotionally invested in my life here in the city, and my mantra is just to get through it.

I believe home is supposed to be a place you don’t want to escape from. Right now, all I want to do is escape.  The life I have is one I settled for, and I know it. I made choices based on convenience, proximity, or fear of failure and the unknown.

So now what?

Now we build a home that I choose to Say Yes to. This is exciting. It means I get to say yes to what aligns with my authentic self and who I am supposed to be. I don’t have to settle for the get-by option or choose what is supposed to be the safe choice because I am afraid of taking a risk.

Let’s risk it and see what happens. I’ve already seen what happens when you settle for convenience, ease, proximity, or you just join groups and communities because there’s nothing else to do.

I’m excited to explore this concept of home this Fall. I’ve long felt that there’s nothing here in SF, and my real life is somewhere else. This could be true, but I also think I haven’t been exposed to the right people and right environments in the Bay Area.

I believe I will meet the right people when I am supposed to. Home could be in different places. I don’t see my life as conventional, and so who knows what home may be for me. It may be in different places at different points in the year. Who knows?  This is the exciting part!

Deliverance is happening little by little because that is all I can handle right now. This is how sustainable change happens.

All we know is that my lioness spirit is coming alive at 45!!!

My Mascot: The fierce and bold Lioness