I have been exploring the concept of home. What makes a place or a person feel like home?

Is San Francisco my home?

San Francisco is technically my home because I was born here and it’s where my family lives. Other than that, there’s nothing that makes me feel like San Francisco is home to me. I don’t feel connected to the city beyond familiarity; I don’t relate to the people around me, and I am not deeply rooted or grounded anywhere in San Francisco except with family.

I am in a season where I lack attachment to my life, and in some ways that is good because for the last several years I have been out of alignment with myself, and anything I was connected to was what I settled for. Also, I don’t think I’m supposed to be attached to my current life because I’ve outgrown it, and this just ain’t it.

As I exit this void space between the old life and the new, it’s time to raise the stakes and say yes to some bold risks.

Raise the Stakes

The stakes in my life have been too low, which is why it’s easy to leave, easy not to care too much, easy not to invest emotionally, and easy to move on from things because I am not attached to them. With high stakes, there is greater attachment. If the stakes are high, then I’m willing to put in the effort to see it through, and it’s harder to leave.

It was easy for me to leave the church I was involved with because the stakes were low. I had invested years and too much time with the church, but there wasn’t much to lose by leaving. I left a “community,” but there were too many examples that made it clear that my place in that community was nothing more than a cog in the wheel. To this day, I only keep in contact with one person from the church. I didn’t lose much. In fact, I gained more time to do things I actually enjoyed and reconnected with my real friends.

A Good Story has high stakes, conflict, and transformation.

I want to live a life that has a story worth telling. In my writing class, I have learned that a good story is made up of conflict and transformation. Without conflict and transformation, there’s no story. Reading about a character who settles for the safe option all the time, never takes major risks, never has conflicts, and stays stagnant is not a story. It would be a snooze fest and not worth reading. Every good story has to have something worth getting, and the stakes must be high to get it.

Arnold Schwarzenegger says that the stakes are what he looks for in a movie.

“When I read scripts, I always pay attention to the stakes. If the stakes aren’t high, the movie won’t work. There’s no drama with low-stakes.

So many people want high stakes in their movies and no stakes in their lives — it doesn’t make any sense.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

We don’t want stakes in our own lives because we fear failure. We fear going for the thing, doing the thing, and looking foolish in the process.  I read biographies and memoirs of successful people, and one theme I keep seeing is that they looked foolish to most people as they pursued absurd goals and kept raising the stakes in their own lives.

I’m ready to raise the stakes in my life.

Prep Season is about preparing for a high-stakes endeavor, and going for it, even if I don’t know what it is yet.

My word for 2026 is alignment, and I’m hearing the whispers say that I can’t play the low-stakes game anymore. It’s time to raise the stakes. If I want to be aligned with the life I am supposed to live, I have to raise the stakes.

I have to say YES, and I have to GO FOR IT. I don’t know what IT is yet, but I know I must take the major risk for the major outcome. It cannot be the safe option. I can’t be lukewarm about it. I can’t do my normal low-stakes, take-it-or-leave it deali-o.

It has to be a risk where I will suffer the consequences, good or bad.

It has to be a risk where, when it’s hard, I’m so invested that I can’t and won’t leave. Not one where I say, “Oh well, too bad” and move on to the next thing.

The whispers also say that it will most likely be unconventional and borderline absurd because that’s how you live a good story.

That’s what this prep season is about: leaning into discomfort and inconvenience, digging deep, being invested, and not quitting.  Even though this prep season is not about anyone but me, the stakes are high because if I quit on myself, then I’ll be missing out on the joy of seeing my mission through to completion, and the advantage of knowing that I leveled up.

Am I still afraid of failing?

Not as much as I am afraid of remaining stagnant and stuck. I know how bad it feels to know you’re squandering your potential, wasting time, and remaining stuck.

As Arnold says,

The only real failure is the one where you try once, miss, and freeze. That is the one that ends the game.

I’ve completed six weeks of preparation, and I have 10 more to complete. The stakes are high, and I am coming to win.

Game on.