For the last year, I have been lamenting the lost years of COVID. I’ve also ruminated on all the time and opportunities I have squandered. It’s led to a sense of urgency that I need to do something major to get this train back on schedule because ten years is a lot of time to waste.

There’s nothing I can do about lost years or squandered time and opportunities. What’s done is done, and I have to move forward because time has marched on.

The more I relax, the more I receive

I have changed my approach. Rather than responding with urgency, panic, and desperation, I’m slowing down and relaxing into the flow of my life. I have accepted that I made poor choices, and I have learned from them. I think one of my biggest mistakes has been not understanding the art of receiving.  At my big age, I am learning the art of receiving, and this means relaxing. It means not trying to figure out every angle of my life, and not rushing to the next place.  It means moving in alignment with the flow of life.

I think of it like getting the most out of yoga poses. We get into alignment in the pose, and as we relax into it, our tissues release, allowing us to extend further and get a better stretch.

A major part of my inner narrative was that I had to do everything myself and that I was not worthy of receiving anything that I actually desired.  The root of this comes from misguided religious conditioning, which teaches participants to have low self-worth and low self-esteem.  You’re never good enough to receive what you want or good things. You must always settle in the name of self-imposed suffering.

This is nowhere in the Bible.

The Bible teaches that humans are not good enough to earn our salvation, which is why God sent Jesus to die on the cross. The Bible never says that we are to endure self-imposed suffering because we aren’t worth anything. In fact, the Bible says the opposite: It says that while we were yet sinners, Jesus died for us; the Bible also says that for God so loved the world, he gave his only son so that we would not perish, but have everlasting life.

Apologies for the Sunday School lesson, but I’m starting to realize how unhealthy this type of religious conditioning is. This type of false teaching has nothing to do with salvation, but everything with keeping people under control.

Doors of opportunity don’t open if you don’t leave the house

I like to read Reddit, and there is a common theme among posters asking how to make friends. Most of the suggestions are that people should get off their phones, go sign up for hobbies, and get out of the house to meet people.

I’ve been thinking about why it’s so hard to make friends, build communities, and have an active social life these days. I think it’s because many people choose the comfort and convenience of staying at home over going out, getting uncomfortable, and doing something new with new people.

The opportunities are outside of your house.

Most of us say we want opportunities, but we’re not willing to risk leaving the house or looking up from our phones to encounter them.  We’ve essentially locked ourselves in our own cocoon, and then we wonder why our lives are so dull and lonely.

This week in the Pump Club newsletter, Arnold encouraged us to open a door in our lives this week: Get out and do something new, do something that we’ve been putting off, or anything that moves us away from the status quo.

If the only door in your life is the one you’ve locked yourself behind, you’re not going to find what you’re looking for. I guarantee you. – Arnold Schwarzenegger, Arnold’s Pump Club

I’ve felt stuck for a long time, and I finally got the message that the way to get unstuck was to stop doing the same things I’ve been doing and start doing new things.

All year I have been saying Yes to small doors of opportunity

  • Reaching out and reconnecting with people I truly enjoy
  • Changing to a much better work environment
  • Attending sporting events and concerts
  • Showing up to train at the gym, finding sources of inspiration, and pushing myself through a 16-week prep season
  • Signing up for writing classes and sharing it with others

All of these things happened because I just got started.

The internet has trained us to find answers for everything, and while I can easily Google how to get super glue off of my fingers, I don’t need to spend all of my time researching and thinking about getting started. I just had to start.

I could have spent six months researching the best writing programs, but I just started taking writing classes with UC Berkeley Extension and found my way into the Creative Writing program, which is where I belong. I just needed to get started with one class.

I could have spent weeks researching the kind of 16-week prep program to put together, but I decided to just get started, and as I’ve gone along, a lot of what I have learned over the years has come back to me, and each week I am able to dig a little deeper and make more tweaks and changes.

Most of us miss opportunities because we never start. We’re so busy thinking, researching, and talking ourselves out of what we want that we completely miss open doors and opportunities.

We don’t get the opportunity to play because we never get into the game.

As my birthday approaches in a few weeks, I have promised myself this year to keep my eyes and ears open for opportunities, but that’s not going to happen if I never leave the house, never start anything, and am too afraid to step out of my comfort zone

This week, Arnold challenged us to open a door. Just do something that you’ve been putting off, or that takes you slightly outside of your status quo.

I don’t have anything in mind right now, but I’ve got my eyes and ears open for the opportunity to walk through an open door, and I am ready to receive!

I will not despise the day of small beginnings.

One opportunity.

One yes.

One new life.