I feel disconnected from my environment because I don’t relate to the people around me beyond a superficial level. I realized that was because I had been looking only at my daily life here in San Francisco, and I have no deep roots of community here, and I think it’s by design.

I am rediscovering my authentic self, and that self doesn’t align with the life I’m currently living. I have tried for a long time to envision a life here in San Francisco that is thriving with a great community, and I can’t do it. I don’t believe my real life is here. Of course we don’t know what can happen, but I don’t see it for me in San Francisco. I may work and reside here, but I don’t live here.

Getting Connected the Right Way

It makes sense that I am disconnected from my work life right now because I have outgrown training as a primary career. I don’t mind doing it for a few hours per week, but I no longer want it to be my primary career, and I certainly don’t want it to be the primary source of my social interaction.

There was an article in the San Francisco Chronicle that talked about how Americans are increasingly turning to work for social interaction. With the loss of religious communities, civic activities, and third spaces, people are looking to work as the basis of their social lives.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with making friends at work, especially if you’re on a successful team or in a game-changing situation. The basis of great teams is great relationships. I know plenty of people who have met their closest friends and their spouses at work, so I am definitely not opposed to work friendships, but that should not be the primary function of work.

The article made me pause for a moment because one reason I want a new job is that I miss spending time with peers and mentors, but I can and should do that in my real life.

I am disconnected in my professional life, but in my real life, I am absolutely getting connected with the right people. The right people are getting back on the bus and into the right seats.

I’ve been labeling the past few years as horrible and a steep decline. There have been few major wins and life-altering losses. While the past ten years haven’t been ideal, the period from 2020 to 2024 has been the hardest I’ve experienced.

Whether these years were good or bad, who’s to say?

Good or Bad, who’s to say?

I know a yoga teacher who is currently transitioning from teaching yoga to a full-time career. People asked her how she was feeling with this transition. She responded that she is feeling a lot of things. She shared this story with those of us on her email list last week, and I can’t stop thinking about it.

A farmer and his son discover a beautiful wild horse. “What wonderful luck,” the neighbors say. The farmer simply replies, “Good or bad, who’s to say?”

A few days later, the son is thrown from the horse and breaks his arm. “What terrible luck,” the neighbors say. Again, the farmer answers, “Good or bad, who’s to say?”

Soon afterward, soldiers arrive to conscript every young man into war. Because of his broken arm, the son is spared. “What incredible luck!” The farmer simply smiles. “Good or bad, who’s to say?”

I’ve thought about this story all week because the first few years of my forties haven’t been ideal. Sometimes I feel like I’ve been in a time warp, as if someone pressed pause in 2019, sent me into the wilderness, and then unpaused my life in 2026. Sometimes it feels like life since 2020 has been a fever dream, but I am brought back to reality by the fact that my mother is no longer physically present.

Immediately labeling something as good or bad may rob us of important lessons and cloud the long-term view. Perhaps that job we’re sick of will give us the skills for our next chapter or open doors that we had never imagined.

Perhaps that relationship that ended taught us what we don’t want in life, or maybe it was the right relationship for that version of ourselves, and it allowed us to reach a place we never would have reached on our own.

I got started.

I used to tell my Bodypump classes at the gym that the first time we do a routine, it will never be good. The point is not to be good the first time you do something. The point is to just do it so you can let go of the fear of doing it, and then make improvements.

This week, I turned in my short story for my Craft of Writing class. It’s not great. I don’t have a title, and I am still working it all out. I am proud of myself for turning it in. No, I am not a good writer right now, but that means there is more room for improvement.

One of the lessons I have learned over these last twenty years is to just do it. Turn it in, go for it, and just do it. The money shot is improvement and personal growth.

I read a quote this week that said that we all need the courage to look ourselves in the mirror and say, “I realize I’m not good enough yet, but the only way to get better is to keep working on it.”

Week 4 of Prep Seasons

Getting started is the hard part of any endeavor.  There is always a temptation to fall into the trap of “I’ll start when I feel more ready, prepared, and certain of the outcome.” What prep season is showing me is that getting started helps you to feel more ready and prepared. Nobody can ever be certain of any outcome because life doesn’t work like that. We can only accept what is and make the best of it.“Good or Bad? Who’s to say?”