When I was younger my 40th birthday seemed like an ominous milestone.

Turning 40 appeared to be a midlife Day of Judgment where I would stand before this self-imposed judgment throne and I would discover whether or not I made the right choices in my 20’s and 30’s.

Women seemed to loathe turning 40 because their lives as vibrant and attractive beings were over and it was now time to turn into an old hag.

There was no Day of Judgment and I did not turn into an old hag,

In fact, turning 40 was a pleasant surprise

The Surprise of Turning 40: Peace

The most surprising thing about turning 40 for me was how peaceful it was!

I am at peace in my current life and I look forward to the days ahead with much joy and anticipation.

As one of my life theme songs says, “Regrets…I have a few but then again too few to mention.”  

Everything I would regret has been a learning experience and building blocks for my life.  Perhaps the only regret I would have had was not prioritizing marriage/family in my 20’s and 30’s but even then I don’t actually regret that choice for several reasons.

First, I have had a chance to heal from some wounds that would have carried on into marriage and I have a much more realistic view of marriage. I am not looking for someone to save me from myself.

Second, I have had a chance to experience a lot of things I always thought would take the place of family and I know that none of them will.  I don’t have to wonder anymore if I would be happier taking that course.

Third, I did not settle for a man who I didn’t respect or enjoy as a human being.  Our society doesn’t teach us what to look for in life partners. We are taught that it’s degrees, earning potential, or if the person excites us sexually.  What I would tell younger people is that they must look for someone with the same value system and someone who they enjoy enough as a human being to keep investing in the relationship as the years go on.

Fourth, I believe that marriage/family is now MY desire and MY choice.  Nobody is telling me that I need this because I’m getting old. I’m not panicking and settling for a loser because I’m afraid of running out of time.  A marriage and family is what I want and what I choose and because of that, I am going to attract the right partner at the right time.

This is where it gets good…

As a fitness professional, my primary clientele is older adults.  One thing I love about training older adults is that many are still going strong and they have so much wisdom to pass on when it comes to career and life.

Several of my clients have enjoyed extremely successful professional careers and all of them said that real career success happened in their 40’s and beyond because they learned so much from the mistakes they made in their 20’s and 30’s.

In your 40’s, You also have a better sense of self so you understand which issues allow room for compromise and which ones don’t.

As you get older, there is also an opportunity to take what you’ve learned over the years and apply it to different ventures.  I have clients who became interested in other fields of study and used that interest to broaden the scope of their careers.  With the way our economy has been going and the way the job market is, I believe that we all need to continue to learn and grow so we add to our skill sets.

While automation and Artificial Intelligence are the waves of the future, I do believe that the human element will still be necessary so I’m looking at ways to make myself more marketable.

For instance, I am using the skills I learned trying to launch an online business in my 30’s to help organizations build digital platforms and also manage their communications.

Our society loves to celebrate the wunderkinds who achieve massive success by their 20’s or 30’s but that is extremely rare AND in many cases, those that find success too young do not possess the maturity or character to sustain that success. That’s why we hear about so many of these young people with so much success who fizzle out because it was too much too soon.

From what I have observed in my own life and also from the wise elders around me, success follows the compound effect. Each small positive choice will cause massive success later on down the line.

I think that this stage in life is where it gets good!

Redefining Age

Women Food and God author Geneen Roth said that when she turned 40, someone told her women should no longer wear sleeveless shirts and that was a given rule like No white after Labor Day.

Now that I am 40, I think about how women place so many limitations on themselves because of their age.  I remember going to one of Geneen Roth’s eating workshops and a woman said she was waiting until she lost weight in order to enjoy her life.

She was in her 60’s.

I am adamant about not allowing to life pass me by regardless of age.  I have vowed to remain curious, energetic, and even outrageous as I get older.  The day I turned 40, I joined the Fit, Fab, and 40’s hashtag on Peloton. It’s so awesome knowing so many people my age are committed to still living a high-energy lifestyle into their 40’s and beyond.

In my work as a Health/Wellness professional, I am dedicated to redefining age and the way we look at aging.  Our age does not need to limit us and our abilities to live healthy lifestyles.

My clients are doing advanced training techniques such as: As Many Rounds as Possible, Every Minute on the Minute, and Tabatas in their 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. I don’t allow their ages to define what they are able to do. With consistency, Even clients in their 80’s and 90’s are able to strength train safely and get stronger.

Because of my clients’ commitment to their health and wellness, they have the ability to be challenged and are able to build strength.  I have told them many times (and it is the truth) that they are in better shape than people in their 20’s and 30’s.

I will not allow age to define me and limit me.

Case in point: In the same week I celebrated my 40th birthday, we had a giant slide at church for one of our events.  I and another friend decided to “go play” and we went down the slide.

Once was enough but I still did it.

As I tell my clients, good nutrition and exercise help us to be able to more fully enJOY our lives.

I hope to be a positive role model and example of how to age positively and to redefine what it means to be 40, 50, 60, and beyond.

As my grandma (who retired in her 90’s) always says, “You’re only as old as you feel!”

In the words of James Brown, “I feel good!”