Life is about telling stories – Meghan Markle to Oprah Winfrey

The lead up to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s royal wedding was the usual media spectacle but I was amazed at the number of women who were enamored with the idea of marrying a Prince.

I knew for certain that there was a serious disconnect with the story these women were telling themselves and reality when I saw an Instagram post of Princess Diana’s marriage to Prince Charles and one of the commenters wrote, “So beautiful.  What a fairy tale!”

Say what now?

I grew up in the 1990s.  I read the National Enquirer at the grocery store and other places.  I watched Hard Copy and Entertainment Tonight.  Princess Diana’s royal life was the furthest thing from a fairy tale!  It sounded like an absolute nightmare and ended with her tragic death.

Some women could not see past the tiara, opulent spectacles, and the title of princess.  Never mind the realities that come with being a member of the British Royal family and becoming part of this very exclusive and tightly run group.

The British Royal Family is not known for being warm and cuddly.  See what happened to outsiders like Diana and her sister-in-law Fergie.

The British Monarchy has a long history of imperialism, colonialism, and quests for power. There is no way to maintain a kingdom for over 1000 years without being calculating and ruthless.

It is past time for us to stop romanticizing institutions like the British Royal Family as much as it’s time to stop romanticizing your favorite social media couple.

It’s time to grow up and accept that there are no fairy tales and there is no perfect relationship.

No matter how much the media likes to push the Royal wedding spectacles, there are no fairy tales.

There is no such thing as meeting a Prince in the forest, fairy godmothers, you are rescued by the prince from your evil boss, and you live happily ever after.

That is for Disney movies.

Since women are indoctrinated with fairy tales from a young age, I don’t think that secret desire to be rescued from our lives by a handsome prince ever really goes away.

This is why it is so easy to turn royal weddings into spectacles to create a story about a “real-life fairy tale” but in reality is a “real-life nightmare”

This is yet another way for women to compare themselves to a fantasy that doesn’t exist much like having the “perfect body” and a way for the media and companies to exploit our deepest desires.

Create your own story

When I started writing this blog post I wasn’t sure where I was going with it or what I wanted to really write about but as I’ve typed, backspaced, and toyed with scrapping it altogether, I realized what it is that I wanted to say.

If life is about telling stories, then create your own story

Recently I had an experience that left me paralyzed with dread, filled with angst, and unsure of how to proceed forward.

I knew that something was wrong but I couldn’t articulate what it was.

I had to shut everyone out and go to silent mode because I didn’t have the bandwidth to explain to anyone what was going on and I didn’t have the words to explain what had me so disturbed.

I had a dream that mentioned the book Needful Things by Stephen King so I decided to re-read the book.

Needful Things is the story of how a dark force disguised as a man named Leland Gaunt destroys a whole town because of their desires to purchase just what they need at his shop.  He’s able to control them based on their desires for his “Needful Things.”

It all became clear to me after reading this book what the problem was.

I had such a visceral reaction to the previously mentioned experience because I had allowed my desires to become a “needful thing” and it threatened to derail and distract the story that I’m creating with my life.

Every single time I have gone off track in life, it’s because, in the pursuit of the “Needful Thing” that I am currently desiring, I’ve made the choice to be distracted and what I know to be right for the story of my life.

We cannot solely be led to create our stories from feelings. It’s important to look at facts and observe reality because feelings change on a whim.  It’s dangerous to create an entire story simply around feelings.

We cannot allow the media, wrong voices, culture, etc. to create a narrative for our lives that doesn’t exist.

Even more important: Don’t allow your deep desires to be exploited by others and have it lead to the derailment of your story 

It turns out the story that the media was selling during the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle to the public about an “American Princess” fairy tale was not true at all.

It was a  false media narrative to exploit the deep desire of women to be princesses and to make money.

We have the power to create each new chapter of our story with our own unique voice.

Let it be a story that is not held captive by our desires nor let it be a false narrative that has the potential to be exploited by others.

Let it be authentic and Let it be true.