“It’s not you…it’s me,” are the words that we like to use when breaking off a relationship. Usually, it is the other person because we’ve come to the realization that we can no longer tolerate the behavior of the other person or that we are not in a place mentally to give them what they may need from a relationship.

Lately, I’ve heard about “cancel culture” from people who have mistreated others and are angry that they now face consequences for that behavior by losing supporters.

As the old saying goes, “People vote with their feet” and that has always been true. When people no longer wish to support a person or group, they will leave and go else elsewhere.

That’s not cancel culture, that is freedom of choice.

This issue of cancel culture is complex. As my friend Faye Bishop said on social media, there is an element of digital mob mentality that likes to pile on trendy topics that is akin to a digital stoning in the public square The reality is that the digital mobs only have as much power as corporations and gatekeepers are willing to give them. (See the recent blow-up with Dave Chappelle. Spoiler alert: He’s not going to be canceled)

So when is it Cancel culture and when is it freedom of choice?

Here are 5 Reasons it’s not cancel culture but why your followers and supporters may be voting with their feet.

1. Your content is Shallow and Lacking depth

It has been downright painful to listen to influencers and celebrities who are famous for sports, fashion, and pictures of food on social media discuss the complex and serious issues of the last year and a half.

Followers and supporters can sense when an influencer is simply jumping on a topic because it’s popular and not because they have researched it and studied it because there is no context and no nuance. It’s all black and white with trendy phrases thrown in.

These are chaotic and uncertain times and people need depth when it comes to serious issues. People are moving on from those spewing toxic positivity such as Everything is glorious even though the world is burning down around us!

Empty platitudes aren’t cutting it and neither are glamorous selfies with a Bible verse or motivational quote underneath.

At some point, it becomes stale, predictable, pointless, and people stop engaging.

2. You’re a scammer and selling pipe dreams

Does this one even need much explanation? I have seen “entrepreneurs” complain about being canceled but they neglect to mention that they took large amounts of money from customers, and did not produce content, plagiarized the work of others (and got called about it), or made false promises about significant returns on investment that never materialized.

During chaotic and uncertain times, scammers and frauds love to exploit people’s fears by selling them snake oil and pipe dreams. One of my clients loves to tell the story of the neighborhood salesman who was selling “Health Tonic” during The Great Depression. It turned out the “Health Tonic” was watered down bourbon. Of course, this was also during Prohibition so the Salesman was killing two birds with one stone!

Unfortunately the “Health Tonic salesmen” today aren’t selling watered-down bourbons but Ponzi schemes, overpriced courses and classes to make you a six-figure earner tomorrow, and miracle supplements designed to prevent Covid-19.

Once people realize that they have been taken, they move on and share that information with others.

This is not cancellation but capitalism. We have the choice of where to spend money and we can warn others not to spend their money with scam artists and those selling pipe dreams.

3. You’re mentally unstable and passing it off as being “spiritual”

Disclaimer: I am a practicing Christian and I serve in ministry but I’m also not naive or gullible. This applies as much to Christianity as it does to New Age practitioners.

There are many people now who believe they are prophets, healers, and spiritual gurus but really they are mentally and emotionally unstable.

Do I believe in prophets and healers? Yes but I don’t believe in most of the ones I see on social media and at some churches ESPECIALLY when they are CHARGING outrageous prices for these services.

I have had experiences with people who call themselves “prophets”, “gurus” and “healers” and even though they were from different backgrounds, they all had something in common: They were absolutely divorced from reality.

Another clue is that these people live drama-filled lives. Something dramatic is always happening in their lives and they’ve always got the next greatest revelation going before they hit rock bottom (again) and they’re on to the next experience. I am one who believes that if you cannot manage your own life from day to day and talk as if you live in fantasy land, then you’re more than likely delusional and not spiritual.

One more note: Prophets in the days of Old never told people what they wanted to hear right off the bat. They were often sent to warn people of the trouble ahead and how to make things right. One thing about the [false] “prophets” of today is that they always seem to say exactly what people want to hear…especially if they are getting paid or have something to promote.

In many cases you’re not being persecuted or canceled because of your religious or spiritual beliefs but because you’re using religion and spirituality as a shield against criticism.

People soon catch on and tune you out.

4. You have failed to adapt to changing times and seasons

It worked for us ten years ago so why isn’t it working for us now!

Perhaps because times have changed significantly from ten years ago. When we fail to understand that seasons change and times have changed, we think we are being canceled when in all actuality time has passed us by because we’ve failed to adapt to the changing world.

What worked in terms of marketing and products ten years ago may be completely outdated these days. I can say as a Fitness Professional that cookie cutter diet and exercise programs were really popular ten years ago but now people have moved on to a more holistic view of fitness. People want to focus on longevity, wellness, and shorter home workouts. This would make sense in a pandemic where there is high stress and gyms may not be as accessible.

In a culture where negativity is praised and celebrated people are also not as keen to listen to racist and misogynistic content under the guise of being edgy. A podcast I listen to loses listeners each time they have a particular guest on because he likes to make racist comments to get a rise out of people. He complained about being canceled but the audience didn’t cancel him. They chose not to give him the response he was looking for. It is our choice not to support him. Those that want to listen to him can do so but we have the freedom of choice to turn him off.

5. Capitalism is the American Way

One of the wonderful things about capitalism is that we get to choose where we want to spend money. This is a consumer-based economy and if we don’t like you, then we don’t have to spend our coins or our time with you.

It’s just that simple.

It’s not cancel culture.

It’s capitalism.

It’s the American way.