It’s Week 5 of Prep Season, and a switch has been flipped on in my brain, and I am waking up even more.

It feels like someone pressed pause on my life in 2019 and has slowly lifted it as we move further into 2026. My life wasn’t exactly swinging in 2019 either, but it hadn’t gone fully into the wilderness as it did in 2020.

I heard someone explain the phenomenon perfectly because he said he felt as if he were in a time loop. He shared that time felt like it stood still, and now he’s slowly coming back to life.  Even something trivial, such as songs I have not heard in about seven years and forgot existed. It feels like I was on another planet.

It was a combination of factors for me: the pandemic, grief over the loss of my mother, becoming way too involved in the church, and working at a place that was completely misaligned in so many ways.  It was a combination of factors that I call my wilderness season or the Valley of the Dry Bones. The further I am away from it, the more I realize how inauthentic I was during that time and how much of my spark I lost. Of course, I have been profoundly changed forever due to losing my mother, and her death felt like the capstone of an old version of me that no longer exists.

Still in the Void

I am out of the wilderness and out of the Valley of the Dry Bones, but now I am in that place I call the void. Other people may call it the messy middle. It’s the place where you know you’ve shed your former identity and outgrown your previous life, but the new one hasn’t quite shown up yet; it is in view, and the goal is to keep moving forward toward the new life, no matter how small the steps are.

I am still in the void, and it’s critical not to make stupid decisions because I am so tired of my current reality. As an impulsive and impatient person, this is where it gets dangerous.  However, my eyes are focused ahead, and each week I feel more aligned and more authentic in my new life and identity.

It has to die….

“Improvement is hard because sometimes habits and patterns belong to who you were, not whom you are trying to be. If you’d like something better, then a routine you are comfortable with may have to die.”

In my life, complacency, comfort, delusion, and mediocrity have to die.

I’ve been watching YouTube videos of some of my favorite fitness competitors, and I remember the days when I put in a lot of time and effort at the gym. I remember going to the gym super early for AM fasted cardio, doing Strength in the afternoons, and doing classes and workouts on top of that.

Now, did my fitness era get out of hand? Yes, which is why I stopped, but over the last few years I’ve gotten complacent and comfortable, and I haven’t challenged myself physically like I used to.

When I watch these ladies on YouTube, I get inspired. I have no aspirations of competition, but I admire the work they’re putting in toward their goals. I miss being around inspiring people who are challenging themselves to be better.

If I’m going to improve, then complacency, comfort, delusion, and mediocrity have to die.

I’m challenging myself to put forth more effort into my fitness. I am getting to the gym at least 1-2 mornings per week for fasted cardio. Sometimes I push myself to do two workouts per day.

On the non-fitness front, I turned in my short story to my writing group, and I received helpful feedback. I was nervous, but I liked doing it. I liked challenging myself and being courageous enough to accept feedback.

Even though I truly believe that one has to be somewhat delusional to accomplish major goals, the delusion that I can keep doing the same thing, hanging out with the same people, and continuing to complain has to die. I have to start smoking some of that good delusional hopium again to believe that I can start to pull off some major upgrades in the next few months and years.

What’s the alternative?

In the Pump Club newsletter, Arnold asked us this simple question: “What’s the alternative?”

If I don’t change, then what’s the alternative?

If I don’t change, then the alternative is to stay stuck, complaining, bored, frumpy, and in the same place this time next year.

No Lawdy.

This is what the Year of Yes is about. I keep saying that I thought I would be saying yes to bigger things, but perhaps saying yes to these seemingly small things will make it easier to say yes to the bigger things later on.  I have to start somewhere.

As Arnold says, “Focus on what you can do.  That’s what you have to learn. The tiny stuff counts. Your impact doesn’t have to go viral.” I don’t have to just say yes to major things.

These tiny yeses, whether it is to AM Fasted Cardio, writing a short story and letting others read it, or saying yes to random invitations to events I am curious about, all count.  I am focusing on what I can say yes to and not what isn’t happening!

Week 5 Prep Season

It’s a slow week work-wise, and my focus is on fitness and my writing. I believe both of these elements will be CRITICAL to my new era of life.We’re headed toward the Fall Acceleration, and I expect increasing momentum as I press on.