Unemployment, career transitions, life transitions, and grief change our worlds in ways so few are willing to discuss because of the uncertainty they entail.

We are no longer who we were, and we are not sure who we will be.

When going through a season of transition, it is tempting to put our lives on hold until it is complete. I call the time between your former and new life “The Void.”

Melissa Kirsch’s piece, “Unfinished Business,” in the New York Times newsletter hit home for me

“We do this all the time: suspend living until some future moment when work is done, closure is achieved, and some desired state is attained. We perceive “uncertainties, mysteries, doubts” as things we must endure, rather than someplace we can abide.”

In this season, I’ve moved on from my old self and old life, but the new life hasn’t come into view yet. I am learning to abide in the void.

Five Tips to navigate the void

Allow yourself space to process regrets and use that as fuel for moving forward
Do not feel pressure from yourself or others to go back to the person that you used to be. You are not that person anymore.
Don’t be in a rush to fill the void or move on too quickly from it.
Give yourself permission to make hard decisions that align with the person you are becoming
Remain flexible as you grow and evolve.

Allow yourself space to process regrets and use that as fuel for moving forward

I read Daniel Pink’s book, “The Power of Regret,” while I was processing my regrets about my life choices. My biggest regret was always choosing the short stick and settling instead of rising to my potential.

Many people say regret is a waste of time and energy, but I share Daniel Pink’s view that regret makes us human. I look at regret now as fuel for moving forward in my life. Because I took the time to process my regrets, I came up with my motto for this chapter of my life: “Never choose the short stick.” Instead of settling for the safe option, I am going to take a risk and pursue opportunities I know I am capable of.

Do not feel pressure from yourself or others to go back to the person that you used to be.

When you experience a major life event such as the death of a loved one, marriage, divorce, birth of a child, layoff, firing, financial crisis, or medical diagnosis, you will become a different person.

You won’t be who you were, but you’re uncertain about who you’ll become. All you know is that you will become a new person because of the life event you’ve experienced.

I’ve described the loss of my mother as a violent separation. I had never experienced life on earth without her, and I knew I would never be the same again. I no longer look at life the same way, and I’m even more adamant about making my life count.

After a major life event, you will change, so allow yourself time and space to become the person who has to navigate your new reality.

Don’t be in a rush to fill the void or move on too quickly from it.

I called the Summer of 2025 the summer of the doldrums. It had been exactly a year since my mother had passed away, and life seemed to be passing me by. I was stuck in a dull work environment and discouraged about my career transition. During this time, I was also processing the biggest regret of my adult life: my career choice.

I was at a crossroads because so much of what I had known and believed was being stripped away. I grew up religious, and during COVID, I had gotten very involved with a church, but after my mother passed away, I never went back for a number of reasons. When you leave a church, you leave your “community” behind. I knew that wasn’t the right community for me and wasn’t aligned with who I am and who I am becoming.

With the loss of that church “community” (which was more a business than a community), I found myself walking more in solitude than alongside others.

Looking back, I am grateful for that time because it gave me a chance to shed much of the baggage I had picked up from being involved with that church, and I slowly began to come alive again.

In the Fall of 2025, I began to really come back into myself, with newfound clarity and confidence about who I am, what I stand for, and the kind of life I want to live.

Don’t be in a rush to fill the void or move on too quickly from it.

Author Jim Collins says that for a business to be successful, it needs to get the right people on the bus and in the right seats.

I say that when you’re in the void, don’t get on the wrong bus because you’re eager to go somewhere.

I really struggled during the Summer of the Doldrums. Life did start to perk up in the fall as I came alive again, but I had a rule against joining any groups or making any commitments unless it really spoke to me.

As a result, the most I did was take a copyediting course, attend some live music shows, and reconnect with some old colleagues which helped me to come alive even more.

In our society, we want to maximize and optimize our lives, but there are times when we just need to shed the remnants of who we were and look toward the future. One of my very wise friends always says that we must empty the vessel before it can be filled again.

Don’t be in a rush to go on to the next chapter, but allow yourself the time to wait for the right bus that is going to the right destination.

Give yourself permission to make hard decisions that align with the person you are becoming

I grew up going to church every Sunday, and when I became an adult, I would stop attending church and start up again because I felt that was what I was supposed to do.

I was taught that was where I would find my community, and I think that was true back when churches functioned as communities, because that was all people had, or it was tied to culture. Now, churches are functioning more like family businesses, and members are the worker bees.

I was still attending church because I felt I should and because I like to sing, but my heart wasn’t really in it. I knew something was wrong because I was attending the early service every Sunday to get it over with.

The weekend before my birthday in 2025 was the last time I attended church. As I sat there listening to the church leaders install another family member as a leader, I thought, “I can’t do this anymore.”

I didn’t go back; instead, I started thinking about how I wanted to reconnect with my real friends. The people I respected, admired, loved, and enjoyed being around.

This was my first hard decision that aligned with the person I am becoming. Ironically, after I made this decision, I met others who had come to similar conclusions.

My second hard decision was to begin actively letting go of my training career. I no longer put any extra energy or effort into it. I decided not to invest money in it. I even lowered my sales and session goals to make room for other opportunities that may arise.

Perhaps my transition will be slower than I had hoped, but I know that training full-time does not align with who I am becoming. My extra energy is going into my future aspirations.

Remain flexible as you grow and evolve.

I did not know what my life would look like without my mother. During major life transitions, we cannot know what life will look like until we are living it.

I’ve learned that the best thing you can do is to keep on keeping on. I had three rules for my life after my mother passed away.

Get out of Bed
Put your Pants On
Brush your teeth

Everything after that was negotiable.

When I first started my career transition, I had some ideas about what I wanted to do. Then the job market turned on its head. Companies started having massive layoffs, AI was beginning to disrupt the market, and positions were being eliminated left and right. Even though I was doing well on the assessments, my resume was not passing go because I had no experience.

I became frustrated and discouraged, but I have remained flexible in my thinking over time. Perhaps I don’t completely transition out of training all at once, but gradually as I take on more contract positions.

I am also becoming more flexible about what my life will look like. I don’t see my real life happening where I live, and that is okay. I am becoming more open to the idea that where I live is my functional base, and my real life is elsewhere.

No matter how hard I try, I cannot envision a real community and a real thriving lifestyle in my current environment. Every time I try, I think it’s not happening.Life is different these days. I don’t have to be rooted where I live. We have planes, Zoom, FaceTime, and other means to connect with others.

At the same time, maybe my environment as a whole will change, and I can build a life where I live. I don’t see it now, but life can change like that. I am flexible and open

If you do not want to remain stuck and stagnant in your life, you will need to make transitions and hard choices. During your transition, there will be uncertainty, setbacks, discouragements, and that space of the void where you’ve said goodbye to your former self and are waiting to fully embody your new self.

Life does not stop in the void because the void is not a stopping place but part of your journey.