2020 has been a little different is the understatement of the year.

The Holiday season this year will be different than any other in recent memory. Many people will not be getting together with their family and friends but instead celebrating virtually or having a much smaller gathering.

As people struggle with how to navigate this uncharted territory, I think one of the best ways to save ourselves from unnecessary drama is to manage expectations.

This Holiday Season will have to include many changes and cancellations for the traditions and fun things we look forward to and we will have to make do with alternative arrangements.

It stinks.

Admitting that it stinks is liberating.

I’m not going to pretend that I’m thrilled that some of my favorite traditions, parties, and Holiday fun aren’t happening this year.

(Oh and just shame on Apple for trying to take away Charlie Brown specials)

My expectations for the Holidays this year aren’t very high because we’re in the midst of a global pandemic.

The day before we shut down the city of San Francisco in March I was working at the front desk of a gym.  The official order to Shelter in Place was for 21 days.

“3 weeks.  That should do the trick and then we’ll be back,” said one hopeful gym-goer.

“Hmmmm I don’t know about that,” I said.  Judging by what I knew about pandemics (which wasn’t much) I didn’t think the virus would be over in 3 weeks.

Over 8 months later that gym has closed permanently, and the city of San Francisco is headed back to a more restrictive level due to increasing Covid infections

5 Tips to Manage Expectations in this season

In order to increase compliance in adults, you must do two things:

a) Explain WHY they are doing certain actions
b) Prepare people for possible outcomes and manage their expectations

1. Expect that this Holiday Season will be different – This seems obvious but many people are determined to make “fetch” happen. It isn’t a normal Holiday season and trying to proceed full steam ahead like it is, is one way to end up disappointed.

2. Realize that things probably can and will change – pandemics are ever-evolving situations.  Be prepared for changes in restrictions and what we are allowed to do.

3. Understand that more people than ever will have the “Holiday Blues” – People have lost loved ones and many have also lost livelihoods during this pandemic and they aren’t able to have in-person support during these trying times.

Not being able to get together with friends and family this season is rough especially when many of us have spent the majority of the year cooped up inside with no vacations or social events is just another disappointment.

Be compassionate and understanding with others.

4.  Realize that it’s not about you –  Road rage is rarely about a specific incident on the highway but an overflow of inner frustrations. These days people are afraid, frustrated, and angry. Much of that is manifesting itself in all of the turmoil we see on social media and elsewhere.

Just understand that a lot of the vitriol you may experience is more than likely not even about you but an overflow of inner frustration.

5. Be Realistic AND Hopeful – I’m growing increasingly frustrated and annoyed with those who want to pretend that everything is normal so let’s just conduct business as usual. It’s tone-deaf and setting up unrealistic expectations

Newsflash: This is an unusual time. Expect unusual things to happen.  Be realistic. This may be a tough season ahead but we’ll adapt as we need to and carry on.

Life will go on.