I had lunch with a friend recently and he said something very profound:

Fitness is not equal to health

He is absolutely right.  I’ve been pretty vocal about how what looks to be the pinnacle of fitness often does not feel very good behind closed doors and people may or may not be doing all sorts of harmful things to themselves to get to this quest of physical perfection.  I keep reading all of these articles that talk about how our quest for the perfect diet through fads is leading to not only skyrocketing obesity rates but issues with our digestion and hormonal levels.

My weight is not going down even though I would say that I’m much healthier than I was last year or even 2 years ago when I was about 30 pounds lighter.  Consider:

  • I don’t have the food issues like I did the past 2 years and I am sticking to high quality supplements and REAL food.  I think I am getting way more of a nutrient dense diet which is why I am having trouble getting in as many calories as I do.
  • I can bring foods into my house without worrying that I will binge on them.
  • I eat the way I did before I signed up to train for the competition.
  • I am not injured like I was last year and I’m able to do a pretty nice little deadlift (Thanks to Dr. Jonathan Mike who drilled us on form at last year’s Nor Cal Fitness Summit.  It finally clicked)
  • My hormonal cycle has gone back to the way it was 2 years ago…no more crazy fatigue or bad cramps.
  • I’m able to keep up with a 30 minute conditioning workout
  • For the first time in a year I haven’t steadily gained weight.  We hit the highest in December and it’s fluctuating but on a 3-6 month trend it’s down an average of 5 -6pounds.

On my way up or on my way down?

I am on my way up.  I feel better and I refuse to get discouraged about the scale.  I will just continue with my healthy habits and go from there.  A lot of my shift has to do with my change in mindset and surrendering to what is in the NOW instead of wishing things were different.

Surrender

I am reading Eckhart Tolle’s book, The Power of Now and he talks about what surrender really means:

The simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life.

I have surrendered that where I am now is 20 pounds heavier due to my choices and rather than resisting and getting all upset with myself about, I have accepted it and have decided to move forward.

As Eckhart Tolle says:  Surrender does not mean resignation.  I have not resigned myself to the fact that I’ve gained weight and now I should just eat like garbage, stop exercising, and eat my way up the scale.  I’ve formulated my plans of action from a place of acceptance and resolution rather than frustration and despair.

He says:

Surrender is purely an inner phenomenon. It does not mean that on the outer level you cannot take action and change the situation.

Taking Action….

The reality of the situation is this:  I am dealing with a slowed metabolism due to restrictive dieting and excessive exercising. I have an extra 20 pounds that won’t go away no matter how much I want them to. I eat less my weight goes up, I eat more my weight stays the same. It’s a hormonal issue and from what I’ve read it can take some people 2-3 years to reach a place of stability

Now inner resistance to this issue would look like this: I can’t be 20 pounds over where I am comfortable! I have to go on a plan! I have to post about it on Facebook for accountability and for people to know that I’m not a loser who has gained weight.

I’ve accepted that this is what the situation is in the now and I’m taking positive actions to deal with the situation: Eating real food,backing off excessive exercise, and getting enough movement on a daily basis, and continuing my Research to understand hormones and metabolism.

The point is that I have accepted what is, I have surrendered on the inside. I know that I am enough and his knowledge combined with what I have learned from a physical standpoint is why I have not jumped on any unsafe or crash dieting exercise programs as I Would have in the past. I’m also not resigning myself to stay in the mud and then eat like garbage, quit exercise and stop living a healthy lifestyle.

So where are we….

Nutrition

I think it is so much better than it was 2 years ago.  Lots of vegetables, fruits, only stevia and not a butt load of artificial sweeteners, lean proteins, and high quality supplements.  I’m not dieting at all.  I eat the way I did before I signed up for the fitness competition…on the weekends I allow myself more freedom.  However there’s no anxiety about food and no binge eating.

I am also not tracking at the moment.  I may need to start tracking to make sure I get enough food because as I said above if I start eating less, then I gain weight.  When I eat more, I stay the same or it goes down.  That’s telling me something.

I am SICK of the gym

This summer I am getting out of the gym and expanding my horizons.  I’ve taken up walking for 30 minutes a day because I really do think it helps the creative process and it’s great for you!  I read a great article about why so many fit pros get injured and one of the Physical Therapists said it was because too many trainers do too much exercise and too little movement.  SPOT ON.

I’m also working on my flexibility with Yoga and Core Strength with some Core Based Movement workouts.

I believe joints, tendons, and ligaments need a break from heavy external resistance.  I am getting older so I must train smarter.  Yoga will be my primary focused workout of the month for July.  My goal is to do at least 8 Yoga classes in addition to doing some on my own.

Yoga is fantastic for balance, flexibility, strength, stress relief, helping the lymphatic system, joint stabilization, etc.  I am looking forward to challenging myself with something different.

So I am only at the gym 2x per week for my own workouts if that.  I still teach 2x a week at the gym but other than that I need a break.

Heading into the next 6 months my goals are…

  • Post 6:30 a.m. After teaching Monday Morning Cycle Class!

    Post 6:30 a.m. After teaching Monday Morning Cycle Class!

    Eat High Quality Food

  • Get Maintenance Calories to 2500
  • Improve my flexibility
  • Make Yoga a regular part of my routine
  • Fit into my pants

I do not know how long it will take me to get to the last goal but I’m not focused on it.  I’m just focused on doing what I need to do every day to get me there.  I recently read a book where they said it can take 3 years to get anything in your life back on track. I’m fine with that.  I just know i need to make healthier choices every day to get me to where I need to be!

I don’t think this will be an easy journey back and perhaps my focus needs to change in trying to get back to where I was in the past and focus on where I want to be in the future. Every day that I am not any closer to getting where I was, is going to be another day where I am going to be tempted to give up. Every day I focus on where I want to be is a day that I will be tempted to keep going!

So that’s the 6 month update!  Stay tuned…there will be more!