Something strange is happening.


My weight keeps climbing upwards but my body image and self esteem is not heading in the opposite direction.  In fact both seem to be at a high point.  

Both are intentional

Current Fitness Goals

 I am going to be taking a group fitness boot camp this week so my immediate goal is not to die during that so I’ve been training for that but I would say my Fitness Goals for the next 3 months are as follows:

Weekly Trips to Farmers Market
  • Get my body back to being able to function on higher calories again
  • Improve conditioning and endurance so circuit training and metabolic work.
  • Eat a holistic diet centered around Lean Proteins, Fruits, and Veggies.  
  • Continue to improve my body image and not focus so much on cosmetic goals

For the next 3 months I will not be tracking my food.  I need to learn to eat intuitively again and also to make good choices.  I would say that I am getting there.  I don’t like junk food like chips, cookies, and such.  I just found that when I was in deprivation mode I thought about these things a lot.  That’s not happening anymore and I am glad.


I understand that my metabolism regulated downward and from a lot of the research I’ve read it will take me a little time to get things humming along again.  After my holiday free for all when I ate ALL THE THINGS, I went back to eating my normal food plan, my weight was at the lowest of the year and then slowly creeped back upward as I was in a deficit.  That let me know that my body had adapted to lower calories and just that two week period followed by a cutback helped to speed things along.

So for the past two weeks I didn’t do a free for all but I definitely ate more healthy foods.  Now I am back on what I would call a maintenance plan.  No tracking, just eating intuitively, and seeing what happens.

I will not start a formal fat loss program until September at least.

Dealing Honestly with My Body Image

I was scared to death of gaining weight and getting fat after I decided to quit training for the competition  I was worried that things would spiral out of control and then I wouldn’t be taken seriously as a health and fitness coach. For the first two weeks, I put myself in a small deficit and tracked everything and wouldn’t you know I stayed the same?  I figured that maybe it would be best for my sanity to stop tracking for a while and just relax. 

I’ve also decided to take a realistic look at my body image.  As I mentioned in previous posts, I am done with that fit fam stuff on social media.  I do not follow people who post pictures of themselves naked every day.  For one thing it gets old and tired and secondly I was comparing myself to them and then feeling negative about my own body.  

As I have gone back to a more holistic health paradigm these past few weeks,  looks are not the main focus.  Feeling good is and I will tell you that I  feel alive.  I am conscious of my pants feeling a little more snug but I figure that’s my reality right now.  It doesn’t mean that I’m not a good fitness coach or that I am a horrible person.  It just means that right now as my body adjusts we’re having a little fluctuation upwards but as Debarge says I wear it well.

Women (and men too) are bombarded daily with unrealistic images of perfection.  Even those people in those images don’t look like that and so what is the point?  Here’s another shocker:  It doesn’t matter.  What good is it if everyone around you is telling you how good you look but all you can do is pick yourself apart?  

One of the missions of my business is to get people to love the bodies that they are in and to live better in those bodies!  I am tired of people (women in particular) beating themselves up for no longer being a size 4 and feeling lower than dirt if they don’t have a flat stomach. or have cellulite  Haven’t you noticed most women don’t have a flat stomach and have cellulite?  it’s normal.  Perfection is abnormal.  Let it go.

Letting Go of Unrealistic Standards

My Transformation Tuesday is  about mindset:  I have decided to let go of unrealistic standards and just focus on being the best version of myself that I can be.  I don’t need to feel like I have to be at the perfect weight or have the perfect body in order to be credible or win approval.  As long as I’m doing my best and preaching what I practice, then I feel that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing.
Rihanna Roc Me Out Face

My confidence is not coming from whether or not my clothes are a size 4 but my confidence is coming from getting stronger, improving my endurance, and range of motion.  Oh and for single people, that confidence is what is going to draw them in.  Looks may draw in the shallow and surface level folks but confidence is going to be what keeps em intrigued.

Rather than spending my workout time obsessing about flaws, I’m out there training for longevity and to not look or feel my age. I am out there having a great time and I am proud that I can move better than I did and I am stronger than I was in my 20’s. That feels so much better than constantly picking myself apart and working out as some sort of punishment.

Today I would like to encourage you to ditch all of the negative self talk, tell yourself that you are FABULOUS, forget about all of your “flaws” ,put on whatever music gets you going (Today was Rihanna),  enjoy moving your body and feeling ALIVE.  Be intentional about loving your body.  Transform your mindset.

LIVE BETTER