The first week of the Fall Push is in the books, and it started with a bang. I received confirmation that an era of my life has come to an end.

The end of an era: RELEASE ME

For about four years, I was heavily involved in ministry at a local church.  I even worked part-time there for about 18 months.

After my mother passed away, I never went back to that church because  I knew I needed genuine support from genuine people. My grief group was invaluable during that time, and so were my clients and those from my past.

This month, the church was celebrating a significant milestone, and I had no desire to attend. Someone asked if I thought I should have been in the building, and I said that I had no nudge to attend.  When I first started attending the church ten years ago, it was lively, had high-energy worship, and dynamic preaching. Times have changed.

The Sunday anniversary speaker was one of my all-time favorite preachers. I remember the first time I heard him preach, I was floored. I remember sitting after the sermon and just being blown away by his eloquence and storytelling abilities. I also loved that he had background music playing while he was preaching and would randomly burst into song during the message. It was like a musical theater production, so I was completely sold on it. I knew if I were ever to preach, I would do the same.

As he is my favorite speaker of all time, I thoroughly enjoyed his message and will listen to it again.  He is always so uplifting and inspiring, but he said some things that I really want to hear again.

That’s all, folks!

As I watched his message, it was clear to me that my time at that church had come to an end.  I hadn’t attended a service in over a year, but I knew for certain that I was done with it and that part of my life was behind me. My sister thought maybe something had happened, but there was no big boom. I just knew I was done.

I am thankful for the good things I experienced at the church and the few relationships I formed as a result. I will always be grateful that the church gave me language for my gifts and allowed me space to do my thing, but it is time to move forward.

I am not surprised that the first week of this Fall Push began with closure. My theme is Release, and as my friend Bill says, I am emptying my vessel to make room for the new.

Making Lemonade.

My theme for this week was making lemonade. For the last five to ten years, there have been a lot of lemons. I can continue to complain about the current situation and feel sorry for myself, or I can make the best of it. I have gotten tired of complaining because that isn’t changing anything. Besides, I feel like there is hope that change is on the horizon.  There are glimmers that things are changing, and so I want to focus on those signs that life is trending upward.

I received notice that I passed another assessment for a job, so I will continue to move forward. I don’t want to stay another year in my current situation, so it will come to an end as it must.  The world is uncertain, so who knows what will happen next?

There’s a spark and a sparkle.

I keep going back to that dream on August 8. After I got over feeling sorry for myself, a definite shift occurred for me. There is still an ember that has the capability for revival if it receives the right spark. I feel it. It is ever so slight, but it’s there. I still have a little sparkle left somewhere.

Make Me Feel Good

One of the girlies I follow on YouTube encouraged her followers to create a list of things that make us feel good and to do as many of them as possible over the week. I came up with 28 things that make me feel good. For instance, I love bath products and all that, so I really cherish my shower time with my shower creams and lotions. I also enjoy candles and essential oils, so I’m making it a priority to incorporate them into my routine as well because I enJOY them. It is vital to be in tune with what makes us feel good, so that we can lift ourselves during challenging times.

Tracking my food

I want to feel energized in my body.  I do know that I have been overeating, which tends to happen when I am bored or dealing with depressive symptoms. I have been snacking excessively and not being mindful of portion sizes at all. My clothes always tell the truth. What’s funny is that my Active calorie burn skyrocketed over the summer with the 10K training, and I have been working out more for my mental health.  I have said for years that exercise is not about fat loss.  It is a significant tool, but not the main driver. Nutrition is the primary driver of fat loss.

Anyway, I do need to rein in my eating, so I started tracking my food using MyNetDiary. What always cracks me up is that once I start tracking my food, I am better about not snacking and asking myself if I am actually hungry or just bored and feeling empty.  When I log my food, I pay attention to portion sizes and realize that the meals I have prepared are enough. I track my food Monday through Saturday.  I will continue this for at least six weeks.

Never Been There, Never Done That

I am a strong advocate for supporting local neighborhood businesses. This week, I tried La Joya Café, and they had great Chilaquiles. The gentleman who worked there told me they had been there for two and a half years, but they were just now getting their footing.  I learned of their business when they had live music one Saturday, and I thought, “Well, they look like they are having fun!”  I enjoyed the food and service, so I will definitely be back.

Fate test 1: Say yes to something you usually would not 

One of the members of our book club chose Bobby Brown’s autobiography for us to read this month.  While reading this book, I don’t know how many times I have said, “Lord, have mercy!” I don’t know how many times I have stopped reading and sighed.  He is telling everyone’s business, including his own. This book is really something.  I have been texting my sister updates on all the gossip in the book. It is some MESS. Even the book club members have sent out texts about it because it is just WOW. I would have never read this book except for the book club.

One thing is for sure, though: people were making music like magic back in those days, and we are missing that today. I did add Humpin’ Around to my workout playlist and was singing along at the gym, so there’s that. I figure it is helping me get my groove back.