“I’m sorry. I hope I’m not coming across as too bossy,” I said.

I heard myself apologizing again when I gave my honest opinion on a situation.

What was going here?  This was very unlike me.  I have strong opinions and I’m someone who believes in getting it done with action and not talking.  I’m not one who will keep apologizing for who she is and begging for validation.

However, something felt different in this situation.

After some thought, I came to the painful conclusion that I didn’t think I can show up as my authentic self and still be loved, valued, appreciated, and respected when I wanted it to count.

I was still telling myself the story that what others see as assets in me, I still count as liabilities in my personal life.

I came to the place where I exposed the lie, changed the story I was telling myself through my actions and vowed to continue to sparkle because that sparkle isn’t all about me.  It’s to serve a greater purpose.

For Girls That Sparkle

What does it mean to be a girl who sparkles?

According to Merriam-Webster the definition of Sparkle is:

1a: to throw out sparks
b: to give off or reflect bright moving points of light
c: to perform brilliantly
2: EFFERVESCE: to show liveliness or exhilaration
3: to become lively or animated
My definition of a girl who sparkles is one:
who shines brightly
who performs in her gifts and talents with brilliance and without apology
doesn’t fade to the background
My goal and mission in life are to see all girls sparkle and to understand that our individual sparkles may be different but they are all necessary in this world.

Exposing the Lies

Once I came to the painful conclusion of not being able to show up and be fully loved, valued, appreciated, and respected when it counts, the first step was to expose the lie I had been telling myself.

“Oh no we’re NOT doing this!”

I started to talk about it and I decided to get support in changing this story.

I’m a Jesus follower so I got on my church’s prayer perimeter. “I have come to the conclusion that I Don’t think I can show up and be the woman who I am called to be and be fully loved. This is a lie.  I need prayer to stop believing this nonsense,” I announced

My friends prayed for me and over the next few weeks, this ridiculous lie began to unravel.

I’ve Gotta Be Me

The first thing that needs to happen when we decide to stop believing lies and stories we tell ourselves is to examine where the foolishness is coming from.

Growing up there was a lot of talk about what women could not do.  Women couldn’t lead, women couldn’t teach, women were in the background, and men should lead everything no matter the qualifications.

As you can probably guess that didn’t work out with me. I can’t go for that….nope no can do.

I do admit that I went over to the other extreme of not respecting men and looking down on them.

Sparkling doesn’t mean that you root yourself in pride and arrogance to look down on others and it also doesn’t mean that you have to engage in self-deprecation to make others feel more comfortable.

You don’t have to turn down your sparkle

After understanding where the stories I was telling myself came from and rejecting them as lies, I got into action.  I decided that I wasn’t going to apologize anymore and I was just going to show up and be myself….sparkle and all.

The Chips can fall where they may.

In this process, I have learned something valuable

I don’t have to minimize who I am and who I’ve been called to be.

I don’t have to shrink back and fade to black because it makes someone who’s insecure feel better about themselves.

The secure person will be there to smile, cheer you on, and encourage you to carry on as they see you growing into your full potential.

I never believed that could actually happen for me but I do now.

Sparkle isn’t all about me though…

It’s not?

No, it’s not. Can I level with you for a moment?

It is true that we shouldn’t deny our sparkle, turn down our sparkle, or minimize who we are

AND we need to understand our sparkle isn’t all about us.

My sparkle is not just about me.  

Just think of the very nature of an object that sparkles. It’s not for the object. It’s for others to notice and appreciate.

Don’t make your sparkle just about you.

Sparkle to inspire someone else, to enhance someone else, to empower other people, and to add shine to the world.

Be the woman whose sparkle encourages others to find the way they were created to sparkle and share it with the world!

If you’ve lost your sparkle…

Examine the stories you’ve been telling yourself.  Are their lives that you are believing?

Often the lies we tell ourselves began early on.  Someone may have told you that you couldn’t be x,y,z or maybe you believe that if people were to see the real you that you could not be loved, appreciated, respected, and/or valued.

Remember, every girl sparkles. It’s just that sometimes we dim our light due to these lies we believe or we’ve told ourselves negative stories for so long that we live like we don’t have any sparkle to share with the world.

I love glitter, sequins, and sparkly clothes and accessories.  I was over the moon when I saw that Converse had sparkly shoes for sales.  I don’t care how old I get I will never stop wearing sparkly clothes.

It’s my personal uniform For Girls that Sparkle.