About Real Transformation
I took a 12 week class that culminated in a life changing retreat. Coming off of the mountain where the retreat was held, I knew that my life had been forever changed. When talking with others who had taken the course and gone to the retreat, we realized we had undergone a transformation that was 12 weeks in the making.
Here are a couple of points I’ve taken away about real transformation
Real Transformation is from the inside out
“Get your mind right” That’s what one of my mentors Todd Durkin always says. Getting your mind right is the key to life transformation. Going through life with the same old toxic thoughts will lead to the same old toxic behavior that leaves you with the same old toxic life.
Real Transformation goes DEEP
Similar to the first point, real transformation gets way beneath the surface. It’s not just about meal plans, exercise programs, platitudes, positive thoughts, etc. Real Transformation goes into those deep wounds you thought you buried.
You’re supposed to be uncomfortable when undergoing transformation. I remember getting so uncomfortable the first few classes I went to, I thought about not going back. I’m glad I did though!
Real Transformation isn’t performative
When you’ve undergone transformation you don’t need to say anything. You don’t need to endlessly post on social media or go through elaborate performances to prove you’ve changed.
You don’t need anyone’s validation because you know you’ve changed and it wasn’t for the public’s benefit.
One of the best parts about witnessing the transformations of people in my class was their abandonment of caring what people thought. They were FREE to be themselves. I loved watching people come alive!!
Real Transformation produces real RESULTS
A lot of people have a lot of talking but they ain’t got a lot of results!
I see it all the time. People have lots of quotes, feel good mantras, and motivational memes but they’re basically in the same place with no real change.
An actual transformation should produce an actual change and give you actual results.
Here are 5 Keys to Making Real Transformation
#1: Have a Vision
One of my favorite Proverbs says:
“Where there is no vision, people stumble all over themselves”
This year I learned that the original meaning of the proverb is that people go around and around in circles.
Sadly this is the fate of many people. They have no vision of where they want to go so they end up going nowhere.
They go around the same mountains over and over again…year after year.
The first step to Transformation is to have a vision of where you want to go.
On my birthday last year I got very specific about what type of vision I wanted for my life. Now since I made that declaration some 16 months ago, a LOT has changed.
I let stuff go, I got clarity on what I actually wanted, and then I went and signed up for help to overcome these mental blocks I had.
There have been times on this journey where I worried I was making things up, I have gone home and cried on numerous occasions, and I have had several episodes of pulling the covers over my head because I’m so afraid of all that’s happening.
What’s kept me going is the vision. Having a clear vision helps me to keep going when I’m discouraged and want to quit. It’s helped me when I’m afraid of the next step, and it’s helped me not to quit.
Your vision needs to be YOURS and not what others think it should be or to please others. You need to OWN it.
As we wind down this year, get honest with yourself and ask if you’ve actually made progress or if you’ve just had a lot of activity that amounts to basically going around in circles and going nowhere.
I have a vision board prominently displayed (This is an example of a vision board. New Years is a great time to make one)
#2: Get clear about the mission and develop your strategy
Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin is one of my favorite Personal Development books.
Written by Navy SEALS, Extreme Ownership applies the lessons that they learned on the battlefield to business/leadership.
One of the points that stuck with me about this book is to be clear about the mission and then develop the strategy accordingly.
The first questions to answer are:
What is your mission?
What are you setting out to accomplish?
One of the biggest lessons I have learned is that we can be busy, have full and active lives, but what we are doing does not support our mission.
We are busy and active but producing nothing and going nowhere because our actions do not support our goals or the mission.
Once you get clear on your mission, the better your strategy and subsequent actions will be to fulfill your mission.
Developing Strategy
In the coaching groups that I lead , first we get crystal clear on the mission, then we discuss the main obstacles you will face in carrying your mission out and then we develop a strategy to overcome those obstacles.
Being prepared for obstacles means that you will have to research and think about what may come up and plan accordingly. We are often our own biggest obstacle so getting honest about what’s in between your ears is part of the process.
Strategy allows for flexibility
Plans seldom go the way we think the way will and there are always surprises along the way. By developing a strategy, you’ll be much more flexible and able to adjust when plans go left.
This is one of the reasons I hate rigid diet and exercise programs. It doesn’t teach the busy working Mom to develop strategies to eat healthier and get enough exercise. The trainer just says: “Do it this way or you’re a loser.”
People have complicated and busy lives. Everyone must find what works for them!
Get Clear about your mission and what you want to accomplish and then Cultivate your strategy to carry it out!
#3: GET FOCUSED
This summer I was all about Leveling UP. I said everything that was not helping me to Level Up to my specific goals and desired outcomes had to go.
My being scattered and having a lack of focus was costing me time and money. Being scattered drains you financially because you don’t realize how much money you are spending unnecessarily.
I decided to get Laser Focused.
I got specific about what I wanted and if it wasn’t leading me to the next level, it was a distraction and had to be cut.
If I got tempted to go off track (SQUIRREL!) then I would say to myself:
“What the Focus?”
This phrase reminded me that I needed to focus on what was relevant to the goals I had established and not get distracted.
Warren Buffet’s 5/25 strategy
I have a habit of continuing to add exciting projects to my list. After a while I get discouraged because my list seems to be growing without much progress.
I used the 5/25 strategy in 2018 and I got so much more accomplished! It also made it so much easier to say NO to people, places, and things that didn’t have anything to do with my Top 5 Goals.
I didn’t feel as overwhelmed as I had before and therefore didn’t get so discouraged when I would be working on one goal for months at a time.
I encourage you to decide what YOU want, get focused, and stay with it! When you get tempted to go off track, you can say: “What the Focus?”
Step 4: Review and Revise — Be open and Be Flexible
A few months into 2018, it was becoming increasingly obvious that I was going in the wrong direction and my direction wasn’t moving me optimal results.
As I talked with my clients and observed the data (This is super important and I’ll get to this in a minute), I realized that if I truly wanted to upgrade and get the type of results I was looking for, I needed to change course.
I mention reviewing data because that is something people like to discount. Too many of us rely on feelings, bad advice, and unwise counsel for what we should do next. Many of our answers are right there in the facts.
It’s fine to review and revise
“We’ve been doing it this way for 100 years and that’s the way we’re going to keep doing it even as we die on the vine!”
I grew up with this type of rigid thinking and as a result sometimes it is hard for me to move on when necessary but I know that growth means that we need to move when it’s time to move.
Please understand that I’m not saying that we should move on every time we get uncomfortable.
I am saying that we should be constantly reviewing our progress toward the mission, and revising plans as necessary. We must also review our vision and mission. Is this what you’re supposed to be doing? Perhaps the vision and mission has changed.
Be open and Be Flexible
Can you imagine what would happen if a soldier stuck rigidly to his plan even as the conditions completely changed around him? It’s doubtful he would make it through combat.
Thankfully I am now in a position to watch leaders who are reviewing and revising their direction all the time for their group.
If something isn’t in alignment with the current vision and mission, then they move on. If upon review the current strategy isn’t effective, then they revise it and try something else.
Because of their willingness to be transparent, flexible, and promote the growth mindset, the people in the group do not spend their time whining and complaining about change or want to continue doing the same things they were doing 50 years ago.
The group trusts the leadership to make decisions that support the intended vision and mission.
The same goes for you and your transformation.
You must be willing to review and revise your direction as necessary. What was good in one season may be nothing more than a distraction, drain, and hindrance in the next.
Be Open. Be Flexible. Review and Revise as Necessary
Step 5: Play the Long Game and BE PATIENT
In this day of Insta change, Quick Fix Transformations, and social media bragging it’s easy to get impatient and want the short cut but shortcuts do not produce lasting fruit because you miss out on the most important part: THE PROCESS.
If you want real transformation, then you must be patient and stay the course.
One of the things that I tell clients is that 6 week progress may not be that encouraging but think about where you were 6 months ago, ` 12 months ago, 3 years ago, 10 years ago.
For most people realizing the significant progress they’ve made over the longer term is so much more encouraging than focusing on the short term.
Mindset Shifts are Key to any transformation. I developed a 7 Day Mini Course: The Champion Mindset to help you gain clarity on what it means to have the mindset of a champion. All you need is a piece of paper, pen, and ten minutes per day?
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