1. Know when it is time to move on.

My biggest mistake in life has been staying too long, and then I get stuck. Whether it is due to complacency, convenience, misguided loyalty, obligation, or fear, I tend to overstay rather than move on.

Fear is why I stay too long. I fear change; I fear admitting that I made a mistake or a bad decision; I fear doing something new poorly, and this fear keeps me in places and situations I should have moved on from a long time ago.

I acknowledge that I have stayed in my current career for too long. Over the past ten years, I have tried other ways to branch out, such as speaking, conducting workshops, and starting an online business. I even took on a communications role at a non-profit to learn new skills and transition out of my current career, but it did not work out.

Throughout this career change journey, I have learned that there are things that are worse than fear. Stagnation is worse than the fear of change. Complaining and regret are worse than admitting you made a mistake and made a bad decision, and being stuck is worse than the fear of doing something new poorly.

We owe it to our colleagues, customers, clients, and ourselves to move on when we have outgrown our current roles and are ready to take on new challenges.

2. Take More Risks and Challenge Yourself

My second piece of advice to my younger self is to take more risks in my career and challenge myself to do hard things. Too many times in my life, I have settled for the short stick or what I thought was a sure thing because I didn’t want to risk looking foolish or making a bad decision.

I know someone who doesn’t believe in regret. When I talk to him, I understand why: This person always swings at opportunities that interest him. Even if the opportunity didn’t work out, he learned something and knew that at least he went for it. He doesn’t have regrets because he put himself out there and was up for the challenge.

I would tell my younger self to take more risks. I would tell my younger self to apply for that job, take that class, be more open-minded and less rigid about career paths, and say yes to opportunities, especially if they scared me.

We are in an era where the future of work will look different from what it did even five years ago, and many of the opportunities presented to us will be unconventional and risky. Many people thought that a government job was stable and a sure thing, but sadly found out the hard way that in this new era, there are no guarantees.

3. Invest in relationships and building connections.

I have been talking to several colleagues, and one theme that has come up among us is boredom. One person shared that, before the pandemic, he worked in an environment that felt like a family, with great energy, and he made many connections. Now he works in an isolated environment, and he is bored out of his mind. His experience was similar to mine, and I thought to myself, “This doesn’t sound like an isolated situation. Perhaps others are missing a connection with work.”

I started reaching out to former friends and colleagues whom I deeply respect, admire, and who inspire me. I felt an energy awaken in me that I hadn’t felt since pre-COVID times because I realized I hadn’t had those types of interactions in a long time. During these reach-outs, others confessed that they, too, were bored, isolated, and really missing the pre-COVID networks. Some of us met at workshops, seminars, and conferences, but we hadn’t attended any of those live events since 2019.

The more I have talked to others, the more I have realized that, post-2020, people have stopped gathering, whether because many of the “third places” have closed, life has gotten too expensive, or the law of inertia is at work. A person staying at home is going to stay at home. Why go out when everything is cheaper and more convenient at home? As a result, we have lost the ability to build relationships and make valuable connections.

Although remote work has its benefits, something is energizing about interacting with colleagues at work, meeting for coffee on your break, going to lunch, attending networking events together, or even going to happy hour after work. The connections we once made without much thought led to opportunities that propelled us forward. We are also missing the opportunity for mentorship. I know that mentorship has been missing from my life for the last several years, and I would tell my younger self to understand the power of having a great mentor to guide, direct, and offer wisdom as you navigate a career.

I attended an in-person job skills workshop for people interested in changing careers, where we received help with resumes, interview skills, and job application best practices. After the workshop, several of us stayed behind to chat and encourage one another in our job search. One man and I talked all the way to the train station! I felt so refreshed after talking with others on a similar journey. It felt so energizing to be around peers who were going through their own shifts and transitions. The people at the workshop were all different ages and in various stages of life. Sometimes we need to know we are not alone.

Over the past few years, I’ve noticed a lack of motivation within myself, and while some of it stemmed from grieving the unexpected death of my mother, it also had to do with my work environment. I miss the power of connections, which is essential to learning, growth, and moving forward. Relationships are the foundation of everything that we do. Think about how many people get jobs because of their connection to someone in the organization.

The power of connection is invaluable in a tough job market like the one we are currently in. Referrals, recommendations, and opportunities will come because of connections and relationships.

This is the advice I would give my younger self, and this is the advice I am putting into practice for my current self.

 I am moving on before I get stuck, taking on new challenges and doing hard things, saying yes (especially when it scares me), and intentionally investing time in my relationships and building connections with people.

The advantage of growing older is the wisdom I have gained from my mistakes and the clarity to make better decisions.

To my younger and current self:

You are capable of more than you know,

The time is now because it’s what you have

It’s time to go for it!