The saddest words are: It might have been – Chuck Swindoll

I heard these words from Dr. Swindoll, and I sighed. I feel like this has been the story of my life thus far. What might have been if I had taken more risks, lived up to my capabilities, and listened to the nudges in my life?

I came up with my theme for 2026: Take some risks in 2026.

I have already said I want to do something entirely out of character, and I want to take some BIG risks next year. It’s been so long since I’ve done something crazy. For the last five to ten years, all I have done is take what I thought was the safe choice, and it has backfired each time.

I know that I will regret staying with training for even another year, much less five years into the future. I need to have a hard stop. I will regret not being bold and taking the next step forward. I will regret another year of lost opportunities and chances for connections, both personally and professionally. I’ve got some things cooking in the back of my head, and some of it is wild, but that may be a good thing because it may actually happen.

I‘ll say this: I’ve had some pretty crazy experiences where I have fantasized or thought about a scenario, and then it ends up happening. It happened when I was in a specific flow state, and I can feel that starting up again. I am older and wiser, so this time I am willing to bet I can maintain it and not run away. 

To borrow from the Red String Theory, there have been specific threads that have been a part of my life for a really long time. I’ve ended up in places and meeting people that don’t make a lot of sense, but something tells me there is something to all of it.  There’s a connection that I cannot explain, which is exciting to see unfold.

Change is an action-based affair. You cannot make a change ruminating on your mind.. Moods follow action – Rich Roll

I heard Rich Roll on the Mel Robbins podcast. He has made an extreme transformation in his life, going from an alcoholic lawyer to an extreme vegan athlete. While I am not interested in extremes, I do believe that if we want to change our lives, we need to take action to make changes and not keep rehashing the same things in our minds.

This past summer, I was depressed because I was ruminating over my regret for not quitting training a long time ago and how staying with training as a career was the biggest mistake of my adult life. It impacted everything else. I settled for this half-life, and now I am realizing what an unwise choice I made.  I have learned my lesson, and I am not doing that again.

I do feel more hopeful than I did over the summer because I have been in action since then. I have been applying for jobs and conducting informational interviews with my previous work connections. I have also spoken with my former colleagues, and several areas are experiencing similar feelings of boredom and regret about training, with some already giving up on in-person training. 

I also know what I am facing in the job market, and that has helped me to take action. Due to a lack of experience and skill set, it will be even harder to find a job, as the market is flooded with laid-off workers.

I know that if I keep doing the same things, then nothing will change. I am looking forward to making moves when I get the nudge. It is not too late for a fresh start! Sure, I still feel stuck a lot of the time, and I am sad at the time lost, but it is changing little by little.  This is why we can’t despise the days of small beginnings. It’s the small beginnings that will lead to the significant changes. By talking to different people and changing my environment, I will encounter opportunities that wouldn’t have presented themselves otherwise.

“Results tend to accumulate to the person who enjoys the lifestyle that precedes the result.”

I have stopped caring about the results in terms of the scale, but I am enjoying how I am feeling and the good habits I am forming during this fall push.

  • Drinking water and electrolytes during workouts
  • Up at 4:45 to work out, we have the big Mo(mentum)
  • Back to Peloton strength, yoga, and pilates
  • Signed up for the black girls run holiday challenge
  • Think we need a nighttime skin routine
  • Stopped tracking food, started weighing in again. I hit my weight goal and set the next goal for the end of January.

Someone is changing

feel someone is changing: ME. I am changing because I know I will need to be confident in this next era.

I see it in even the little things, like taking hold of my rituals. All that is part of it. Even though my fitness and health focus has been on energy, rather than weight, it’s about me feeling energized in my body and vibrant.

I must be grounded

I must be faithful

I must be intentional

I must be confident

I must be positive

I must be in the right headspace to receive the huge stick

I would have self-sabotaged and ruined the huge stick because I would have convinced myself that I wasn’t worthy of it. I would have found a way to ruin it because I was afraid of rejection. Even if it was staring me in the face and SAYING YOU ARE IT, MA’AM, AND THIS IS ALL YOU!!! THIS IS YOUR DESTINY.

I would have run off with my tail between my legs because it was too scary.

It’s about that confidence. I would say my confidence is more authentic these days because I have been in the valley and in the wilderness, and I know that I am resilient.

I am changing, and I feel that flow state starting to return. It’s something I can’t necessarily explain.  The last time this happened, all these crazy things started happening, and I couldn’t handle it, so I went back to what I knew.  Who was I to think that life was for me?  This time, I know exactly who I am, and I own it.

These are the small beginnings that will lead to substantial story arcs.