Let me just say that I love the television show, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”

The sets! The Costumes! The jokes! The characters! The Music!! The actors!! All Top Notch.

Even more, I love the premise of the show:  What happens when the perfect life you’ve created from yourself comes crashing down.  What then?

What if you had the chance to do something that you really loved but it meant starting over?  To top it off, What if you’re a housewife in the 1950’s doing all of this?!

Right?

One of my favorite characters on the show is Abe Weismann who is the father of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

With insights such as, “To be truly effective you must be ugly!” Who wouldn’t love the guy that is brilliantly played by Tony Shalhoub.

In one of the first episodes, he gave relationship advice to Midge (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) that made me sit up and rewind so I could hear it again.

If you haven’t seen the show yet, then I won’t spoil it for you but here’s what he tells Midge after reality sets in about her marriage.

Abe Weissman: The other important thing I told you.

Midge Maisel: Don’t pick a weak man. This isn’t my fault.

Abe Weissman: Life isn’t fair. It’s hard and cruel. You have to pick your friends as if there’s a war going on. You want a husband who will take a bullet for you – not one who points to the attic and says, they’re up there.

Whew.

Don’t Pick a Weak Man

When I hear the phrase weak man certain things come to mind.

  • Immature
  • Irresponsible
  • No Direction
  • No Vision or Life Plan
  • No backbone
  • No Convictions

Do you think an immature, irresponsible, aimless, cowardly pushover would be able to help navigate you and your family through a crisis?

As Abe says Life is Cruel. We need Life Partners who will show up, stand up, and be present for us in times of crisis.  Listening to couples who have been married for many years, it’s obvious that there are good times and there are heartbreaking times.

I know of one couple who had to live through the heartbreak of losing their newborn son and then almost lose their second-born son.  It takes a strong and mature man to be able to support his wife through something that awful as well as deal with his own grief.

I have had known others who have had a tragedy happen and their husbands leave them to go off with their friends, take up with other women, and leave them alone in their time of need.

We also don’t want partners who will sell us up the river for their own self-preservation.

Abe’s daughter Midge is a big personality (She’s the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel for Pete’s sake!) who is always going to attract attention.  She’s also super smart, talented, and the life of the party.  She’s a girl who sparkles…and she sparkles in the 1950’s which has its own set of problems.

A weak man in the 1950’s or 2020’s doesn’t know what to do with a girl who sparkles.  He’s either trying to compete with her or sabotage her.  Oftentimes these men go off to find solace and validation with other women.

It is a recipe for disaster.

Why do we pick weak men?

Oftentimes it’s out of fear.

Fear of letting someone in to see us for who we truly are

Fear that we’re running out of time and this is good enough

Fear that we won’t meet anyone better

Other times it’s as simple as he’s hot, funny, charming, and turns us on.

Listen to Abe

As I’ve gotten older and gotten very clear about what I want in a life partner. Integrity, Strength, and Honor are all high on the list.

I don’t want the guy who is going to be gone when the hard times hit or the guy who sells his family up the river when trouble comes to protect himself.

I’m not picking a weak man.

I’m listening to Abe

You should too.