According to the Center for Disease Control, The new average life expectancy for Americans is 78.7 years, which puts the U.S. behind other developed nations and 1.5 years lower than the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) average life expectancy of 80.3. The OECD is a group of developed countries that includes Canada, Germany, Mexico, France, Japan, and the U.K. (Fortune Magazine Feb 9, 2018)

The Data is clear.   Americans are not taking care of themselves.

Why I am over the term self-care

We hear the term, “self-care” more and more….especially in advertising.  I have even given using the term but then I started to notice something: Self-Care turned into yet another consumer product.  Long baths with expensive bath bombs, resort getaways, planners, diets, workouts, clothes.  All in the name of self-care.

Am I opposed to any of these things on their own?  Absolutely not.

I am over the term self care because it has been reduced to yet more products and services to consume.

Taking care of self doesn’t need to be about spending money, expensive trips, or adding another “thing” to your life.

The #1 thing that people can do for self care is to actually take care of themselves.  Here are a few tips on how you can do that.

  • Review and Revise Your Direction
  • Put your Priorities FIRST
  • Protect Your Time
  • Say NO and Say it Often

Review and Revise

When I coach clients, part of my Goal Setting system is to: Review and Revise  This is critical to weeding out nonessential activities.

You must review  your intended destination  and then proceed to cut anything that is not taking you where you want to go.

Sometimes what is good and productive in one season turns into a distraction in the next season.  When that happens you must move on.  Filling your schedule with activities that aren’t taking you to your intended destination will lead to eventual frustration.

Put  Your Priorities FIRST

After you have reviewed and revised your direction, you should have a better indicator of your priorities and those must come first.

I had gotten to a point in my life where I realized that my priorities weren’t being taken care of because I was distracted. I told myself: “I come first”  As they say on the airplane, put on your own oxygen mask before you put on someone else’s.

Protect your time

It can be tempting to fill your schedule with more activities because when we aren’t working we feel like we should be doing something.

I have become intentional about protecting my time.  I now tell myself that if an activity or group is not something that can help me “level up” professionally or personally nor move me towards my destination, then I will not be giving it my time.  My time is a sacred space.

When you are protective of your time, then you actually have the space to do things with family and friends that you enjoy and have time for yourself.

Say No and Say it Often

In the next season of your life, many people will be offended at how aggressively you must defend your time and space. Being too accessible to the wrong people and wrong things will cost you your focus and drain you psychologically. You owe NO apologies for deepening your concentration. Let them be offended, they will be fine.  – Matthew L. Stevenson

Tell people no and tell them often.   As he says above, “they will be fine”