Every action produces a reaction.

When I decided not to do the Figure Competition, I was pretty surprised at the reaction I got.  People were so supportive and I received a lot of comments offline thanking me for my honesty.  You can read about why I decided not to do it here

Even though I had made this decision, I still had to deal with the aftermath of what had happened during the pursuit of this goal.  I had to deal with my food anxieties, the body dysmorphia, and GOING DEEP within to figure out WHY I really wanted to do it.

Eating Psychology Workshops and Session

Right after I decided to move on a local fitness facility announced that they would be holding eating psychology workshops to help trainers understand why their clients were not successful with their nutrition programs.  I went to the first session and it was like she was describing the last year of my life.  All of the food anxiety, restrictive eating, and excessive exercise all for what?  We say it’s to hit our goal but is that really it?

I even had a private session with the facilitator and it really was awesome to know that I wasn’t making things up and the issues I was having were for real.  I really needed to heal not only my body but my mind from all the abuse and garbage I was putting into it.

Sure I had been insecure in the past but it was nothing like the self loathing and body dysmorphia that was in my brain.  I know that is not the type of example I want to set as someone who is trying to help others.

Let me tell you this while I’m at it:  If sales is the transference of feeling, if you’re working with someone whose mind is NOT right and is full of the self loathing, disordered eating, punishing rhetoric that’s going to transfer to you.  How can it not?  I didn’t want that to happen for my clients.

It’s Not About the Food

I keep saying it and it’s true.  That eating psychology workshop gave me the confidence to stand up and say the opposite of what the diet industry and Insta Trainers are telling people: The Food is NOT why you’re unsuccessful with your fat loss.  What is between your ears is why you’re unsuccessful with your fat loss. I’ve done the research and leading neuropsychiatrist Daniel Amen says the same thing.  It’s about your brain, your environment, your entire life!  Your metabolism is the sum of ALL the reactions in your body.  If you’re stressed out, get no sleep, etc. what do you think you’re going to do?  Emotionally eat sugar, fat, and the comfort foods so that you will trigger your brain’s pleasure centers. It’s about how you FEEL when you eat the food and until we acknowledge our entire lives and its role in why we eat, we will continue to go for quick fix diets that don’t do anything but make us fatter in the long run.  Stop letting people call you names and saying you’re this and that because you burn out on following restrictive food plans.  They don’t work long term AND learning to be self loathing isn’t going to get you to where you want to go.

Lessons Learned: 20 pounds heavier than when I started

I am now 20 pounds heavier than when I even started trying to be a figure competitor.  I can’t fit into my pants and many of my clothes and no I’m not happy about that.  I did read in Scott Abel’s Metabolism book that 75% of people who do physique competitions end up heavier in the long run. Sigh.

There have been times when I wished I never would have attempted this competition business because all it did was get me heavier and I never even made it to the stage BUT had I not done it, then I would not have opened so many doors.

  1. Getting My Mind Right – As I said above, I had too much negative stuff going on in my mind and it’s not the type of message I ever want to send to clients or women in general.
  2. Mindset Matters Most-  I learned this lesson last year that it doesn’t matter whether you’re 130 or 230 pounds.  Your life will still be your life if you haven’t changed what is between the ears and I have been studying mindset and psychology to better help myself and my clients.
  3. Being able to relate to so many clients and others – Having to deal with my own weight gain has made me much more empathetic.  At some point it’s not about restricting food and overdoing the exercise.  From a Hormonal standpoint, it just makes things worse.  I’m going to have to stick it out and focus on eating whole foods and doing a reasonable amount of exercise.  People have told me it has taken them YEARS to recover.  So shall it be.
  4. Expanding my nutrition and exercise knowledge base – After doing this research these past few months for myself, I see why I wasn’t successful and why 95% of us are not successful:  The diet industry is teaching people all wrong but they have to do that so they will have repeat customers
  5. Having the message to give to women to stop fixing yourself: You are enough

Stop Fixing Yourself. You are Enough.

Earlier in this post, I said I had to Go Deep and figure out WHY I wanted to do this.  Yeah it was a deep down goal but if I am being completely honest, it was yet another attempt to prove that I am not a loser and that I am enough.  I think a lot of women can relate to this.

We are constantly told that we are not enough.  We’re too fat, too thin, too muscular, too bossy, too loud, too smart, too bold, too aggressive, too this, and too that so we are constantly on a mission of fixing.  If we can just do this or we can just do that, THEN we will be enough. Can I tell you that  it never comes because you are trying to hit a moving target.

The whole game of advertising and social media is to CONVINCE people that they are not enough, give them anxiety about it, and keep them tuned for the next offer.

THE GAME IS RIGGED

I SAY GAME OVER 

In 2016 I have made up my mind to go forth and spread the news that you can live your life, go get what you want, and be FIERCE while doing it no matter what.  Your goal needs to be to LIVE BETTER.  That means self care and being kind to yourself.  If you get nothing else from me, that’s what I want you to take away.

You can’t have a message without the MESS so I’m laying mine out for you here.  Here’s to stop fixing yourself, learning you are enough, and LIVING BETTER.