The fitness and diet industry has attempted to simplify fat loss and health into quick mantras and axioms that don’t have much real world relevance. Eat Less/Move More! No Pain and No Gain! Eat Clean/Train Dirty but these sayings are not life. I teach and coach people that very little of their food issues have to do with food. The first question that needs to be asked is: “WHY?” Why are you engaging in certain food behaviors and have little energy? Honestly answering the question of WHY you are engaging in certain behaviors will allow you to do the work to establish healthier habits.
1. You are making your weight the sole focus of your unhappiness.
One of the Biggest Loser contestants said it best. “I lost all this weight but I still have a mortgage, credit card debt, and student loans.” She learned a lesson most people learn when they hit their fitness goals: It isn’t going to solve all of your problems. If you’re miserable at 25% Body Fat, then you will be miserable at 2% Body Fat.
If you have too much excess fat, then will losing it help you to FEEL BETTER and HAVE MORE ENERGY? Yes and you should focus on the bolded words: FEEL BETTER. HAVE MORE ENERGY.
Everyone should try to be the healthiest version of themselves and I KNOW that exercise helps to improve your mood and outlook on life, but if you’re one of these people who say,
“If only I lost 30 lbs my entire life would be different,”
I have news for you: No it wouldn’t because those same insecurities and problems you have would manifest themselves in a different form once you lost weight.
The diet industry is built on the premise of selling quick fixes to people that DON’T work. If these products worked, then we wouldn’t have so many new scams coming out every time you turn around. Marketers know that being overweight and unhappy is a sore spot for many consumers and so their goal is to sell to your deepest desires of losing weight and becoming happy. Smiling “after” pictures showing people finally enjoying and being worthy of their lives because they have lost weight and are thin and finally happy. THAT is what motivates people to try every single quick fix and scam that is on the market.: Lose 10 lbs in 10 hours by drinking cow urine and rubbing cat poop on your hands before eating!
Quick fixes do not work and people do not sustain the changes on these extreme plans and they will be right back where they started more miserable than ever.
My advice is to find out what is really making you unhappy. I guarantee weight gain is a symptom of you unhappiness but not the sole cause. Many people are lonely and eat to fill the void of not having anyone around. Begin to address the loneliness issue and then become mindful of when you’re eating because you’re bored or lonely.
Other times people may be sad, depressed, or stressed out and this leads to binge eating. It may be time to seek professional help for these issues and I urge people to begin to work on the inside and the changes will begin to manifest on the outside.
2. You’re not ready to commit to a program/plan
There is no shame in not being ready to commit to a program and plan. If this is you, then don’t commit until you are ready to change. Attempting to embark on a program or plan results in dabbling in change and giving up when it becomes too inconvenient or uncomfortable.
People who are pressured into buying sessions or gym memberships do not stay with it and usually fall off because THEY did not commit to the program/plan. The salesperson talked them into it.
You don’t need to commit to a program to lose body fat. You can start by saying I want to have more energy. I have found that people who train solely for aesthetics tend to become discouraged and quit more easily. It could be that you want to be able to go hiking over the weekend or play basketball. When you’ve decided what you want to do,
COMMIT in your mind that you are going to follow through with it.
Mark my words: If you’re not committed, then you won’t see your goal through to the end. You will last for a few weeks and then give up. You MUST be ready to change.
3. You have no program/plan
Throwing together random things you’ve heard from people at the gym, stuff you’ve seen on social media, and the latest marketing gimmicks are NOT a program or plan.
If you do not have a roadmap, then you will be lost. How will you evaluate data points and know what is working and what’s not working? How do you know what works best for your body? You don’t because you have no program or plan!
When I first work with clients, I have them fill out a roadmap. I ask them for their 3 biggest fitness goals for the year. Then we begin to break it down into monthly goals. Each month we refer to the roadmap and formulate goals. Each week we set goals that build on our monthly goals. Brick by brick. Piece by piece. That’s how progress is made. Little by little.
Then we look back at each month and see how we are doing in comparison to now. I have a client who set a goal to exercise 3x per week back in January. She’s doing that now and now wants to expand upon that.
I believe that if you are SERIOUS about making a lifestyle change you need a plan. People need structure. Otherwise it’s too easy to give in to distractions and go off track. If you’re just starting out, then You need an actual plan to follow. Once you get your footing, then you don’t need to be so structured but i believe that having a plan saves you
time and money as well. There is none of that wandering around the gym following the hot guy around or buying pointless supplements and diet foods that don’t work.
HOWEVER, even with a program/plan, it is essential to listen to your BIOFEEDBACK. If you’re scheduled to workout one day and you are sore, tired, and your body is telling you to rest then REST. Learning to listen to your Biofeedback is CRUCIAL.
4.) You aren’t ready to hear the truth or follow advice
It never ever fails. The know it all clients. Clients who know everything about nutrition and fitness but sign up for training anyway. These people complain and nitpick about what the trainer is telling them.
I once had a client who couldn’t do a squat at all and then wanted to know why we weren’t doing plyometrics. So I had this client do 20 squat jumps to prove a point. “oh my knees hurt”. Of course they hurt, you aren’t properly conditioned and you shouldn’t be doing any plyometrics if you can’t even do a proper squat.
Then you have the people who question and complain about the exercises that you have them do. I do think if something is painful or you’re uncomfortable performing it (within reason) then I have no problems modifying the exercise. But there are people who just complain because an exercise is uncomfortable or they may start to activate muscles that they haven’t been working so of course their arms and legs are going to fall off.
You also have the clients that know EVERYTHING and are going to tell YOU WHY. Thankfully these people weed themselves out of training because they don’t need a training and they know everything right?
Well in all my years of doing this, whenever I have run into the know it all clients later on down the road NONE of them are in any better shape. As a matter of fact, most of them are in EVEN WORSE shape than they were before.
Well what happened?
They aren’t humble enough to admit they need help and their way doesn’t work. If it did, then why are they in the shape that they are in.
Disclaimer: I am not saying that you should not ask questions or give feedback. You absolutely have the right to speak up and let the trainer know your questions and concerns, but if you’re eliciting someone’s help, then listen. Maybe they know more than you…besides if your way worked then you would be where you want to be by now.
5.) You give into any and all distractions, temptations, and urges
We live in a culture that is obsessed with food. The food marketers have done this on purpose. They make processed foods that are DESIGNED to taste amazing and get you addicted. When was the last time you saw an ad about delectable apples or tantalizing chicken breasts? I’m sure you CONSTANTLY see ads about the newest cookies, ice cream, or bacon wrapped cheeseburger.
Once I was at the shopping outlets and there were vending machines with Snickers, M&M’s, and Ice Cream everywhere! There were pictures of burgers and fries all over the place and I’m thinking, “We are here to shop! Not eat!”
When you have an urge to eat the high sugar or high food, ask yourself “Why?” Are you really hungry or do you want it because it is there? Slow down and become aware of WHY you are responding to certain cues.
In this society we have been trained to give into our urges. It’s okay Y.O.L.O. (You Only Live Once) and Do whatever you want and think about the consequences later.
I will tell you now that giving into all of your urges will never lead to success. Yes there is a certain amount of discipline that you will need to employ in order to get to where you need to be. It means becoming aware of your behavior and working through it. What doesn’t work is white knuckling and saying “I won’t eat the cookie. I won’t eat the cookie.” That usually leads to not only eating the cookie but the cookie, the ice cream, the chips, and whatever else you can get your hands on.
You must learn how to acknowledge and deal with temptations, urges, and distractions.
